Ranma NHS Crossover
by Madcat
Summary: Crossover with NHS Universe
1. Default Chapter

Ranma Ninja High School (NHS)crossover:  
  
Disclaimer: I own neither NHS or Ranma 1/2. This work is intended as a tribute to two great series. I do this only for love of both series and swear I'll earn no money off the work of many talented people.  
  
Dear reader please forgive me mangling two beautiful series. If I'm lucky, I will succeed in combining the best elements of both. If not maybe I can create interest in NHS.  
  
Warning: A very early fanfic by me. I terminated my work and only two chapters are available.   
  
  
Ninja High School is owned by AP press and found only in manga format.   
  
  
**Note: Thoughts will usually be indicated by brackets ().  
General Comments ()  
  
Prologue  
So this is death Ranma thought. One minute I'm laying on my deathbed surrounded by everyone including the grandkids and the next I'm here. Now what, he said to himself. Then a bright light appeared out of the nothingness in front of Ranma.  
Now were talking. Bring my fate on I'm tired of waiting here.  
  
In another part of reality. An ancient crone looked at her two sisters. "Interesting sister, you have cut his thread. But you wove the remainder of the thread back into another piece of the pattern. This shall be entertaining."  
  
In a delivery room in Quagmire USA a woman looked at her son for the first time. "I'll name him Jeremy after his grandfather", she said.  
  
  
Six years later...  
Ms. Feeple quietly opened the door to Jeremy's room. She enjoyed watching the innocent face of her sleeping son. To her surprise her son was awake and standing in the center of the room facing away from the door. Her son was slowly going through a series of deliberate motions. After a minute she recognized the movement as a basic kata from Thailand.  
As she watched the kata become smoother and more fluid. After several minutes Jeremy stopped and began going through a different series of movements. The new kata was a basic Tai-Chi pattern. Ms. Feeple quietly closed the door and walked down the hall. She was amazed her son knew those katas. She didn't know where he learned those. The only reasonable answer is someone she Jeremy those katas, when they visited Japan.  
  
Six more years...  
Ms. Feeple watched her son going through a advanced kata against his brother. Her oldest son was now proficient in at least four major martial arts schools. She had attempted to enroll Jeremy in martial arts classes at an earlier age but, he always refused. His one argument was always, "I don't want to show off mom". She still didn't know, where he   
had learned the majority of his martial arts skills. He would always say,  
"It must have been a dream". She had eventually decided to let him keep his secret. For a while she worried her son was obsessed with the art, but he played sport and had many friends.   
  
Jeremy always enjoyed sparing against his younger brother. He enjoyed teaching his younger sibling. Jeremy smile grew as he blocked another attack by his brother. Jeremy enjoyed practicing but he wished,   
that he could challenge other people. "I learned the hard way. What happens, when you challenge others", he thought to himself. It had taken years for Ryouga to become a friend. "If we had only met in another way", Jeremy thought. "So many enemies could have been friend in other circumstances", he thought sadly. "Martial arts only attracted trouble in my past life", he thought. "This time I'll do my best to avoid trouble."  
  
In another dimension a shadowy form watched Jeremy with anticipation.  
  
  
  
  
**********" Episode 1: A New Student Comes to Quagmire High"  
  
Sixteen years later in a small Shinto shrine somewhere in Japan.  
  
We see a young woman in a formal kimono lighting candles around a small altar. The door to the shrine silently opens behind the girl. Three dark forms enter the room.  
We see a metallic gleams from a shadows. We watch the forms evolve into the forms of three ninja.  
  
The girl at the altar lifts an eyebrow and smiles.  
  
Three shurkien (sp) silently cut through the air towards the altar. The shurkien pass harmlessly through a now empty kimono. Before the kimono hits the ground another shadow has joined the ninjas. The young woman is now a blur of motion taking out two of the ninja within seconds. The third ninja tries to escape but, is also swiftly defeated by the girl.   
  
"So! You think just because you defeated these ninjas, you are ready to take over the Icinonohe Clan!" A old man supporting himself with a cane said adressing the girl. "Ha! You're not so great!"  
"Pshaw! Oh, Don't be such a sore loser old man! I've beaten everyone you've sent against me!"  
"You still haven't beaten me grand-daughter!"  
  
"All right old fart! If it's a fight you want... I'll give it to you", she yelled.  
  
"Very well, but if you lose... You must do as I tell you if you ever want to lead this clan."  
"Whatever you say, but I don't intend to lose!" With that she turned her back on her grandfather and left the shrine.   
"We shall see", was all he said.  
  
Several minutes later in an arena sized stadium, we see two figure in the field.  
  
"Ready, biscuit?"  
  
"Anytime old man", she replied.  
  
The old man removes his shirt and tie. His stature grows until, he towers over the girl (think Soun's demon head). "Well, let's get started", he said.  
We see the girls stunned expression before she receives a healthy can of whoop-ass.  
  
Later in a well furnished office. "So... You must learn some humility. Grand-daughter. Therefore, I am sending you to the United States.  
His only response is a grunt from his grand-daughter.  
  
Undeterred he continues his speech as he uses an magnifying glass on a large wall map. "Somewhere... Ah! Here it is! This little town will be your home for the next few years. I have already enrolled you into the local high school. I have chosen this boy for you to marry."  
"What?"  
  
The old man continued, "his name is Jeremy Feeple."  
  
"You want me to marry this homely brat?" She said staring at a photograph.  
  
"You have no choice, Itchy Koo! If you ever want to be leader of this clan, you'll not only marry him. But he's got to ask you!" Her grandfather said this while perfectly executing a Soun 'demon head' attack. His impressive display sent papers flying across the office.  
"What happens after I marry him", she asked?  
  
"Then you get to be leader! And you can do whatever you want", her grandfather replied.  
"Anything?"  
  
"Anything!"  
  
Well, once I get him to marry me. I'll divorce him later! I'm sure this lowly boy will fall at the chance to marry one as beautiful as me! Foolish old man! I'll win in the end! She turned back to her grandfather and said, "all right! I'll do it!"  
  
Elsewhere in Japan...  
In the Rival Ninja Clan Headquarters we see a figure talking to a photo. "Oh, Itchy Koo! I do love you so! Someday I will end this charade by having you marry me. With you by my side. I, Rivalsan Lendo, will be the most powerful man in Japan."  
His monologue is broken as a ninja in a tree costume enters the room. "Sir! Sir!"  
  
"What is it, spy", Lendo said.  
  
"I have just heard that Itchy Koo is being sent to the U.S. to marry a FOREIGNER", the ninja said.  
"What? This is an outrage", Lendo said. "Alert all battle stations!! Find out who it is... ...so I can kill him!!:  
  
Quagmire High School, Midday.  
  
We see a short scientist with hair, that would scare Einstein, addressing a class. "Today, class, we will produce artificial lighting!! As you can see by these two electrodes  
we will pass a current that will generate enough ions to produce the discharge! We merely switch it on! And send a trillion volts...."  
The student have the rare and dubious honor of watching a human body conduct electricity. "Professor Steamhead! Are you all right", a random student asked.  
The small professor sat up with wisps of smoke surrounding him. "AHHH! Invigorating. Enough of your sympathy, class! I want to know what all of you have planned for the annual science fair! Billy! We start with you.  
  
As we pan away from Quagmire High School. Pan far away... Pan far, far away...  
  
Behind the Earth's moon, a Salusian Battleship of the Imperial Conglomerate has its eye on a certain small town.   
"Approaching backward, warlike planet", the navigator reported.  
  
"What is the status report, Captain", a female voice asks?  
  
"All goes well, my princess Asrial! Our computers have pin-pointed your new spouse."  
"Excellent, Captain Soandso! Have it punched up on the screen. I wish to know who it is that will open up this primitive planet to the wonders of our Conglomerate!"  
"Coming on screen princess. Our computers selected at random that who will serve our needs!"  
"I hope he's handsome", she thought to herself.  
  
A picture appearance in a large holographic screen on the ship's bridge.  
  
"His name is Jeremy Feeple. And he lives in a small town called Quagmire. He will be your mate for life!"  
This announcement is followed by a profound silence on the ship's bridge. Then immediately the bridge crew begins to laugh. "She's going to marry him", random crewman said. "Poor girl", laughed another. "Hey Charlies, listen to this one...", said yet another crewman.  
The mirth on the bridge is cut off abruptly as the princess bends a ship support beam over her knee.  
"Goodness Captain! How quiet it has become all of a sudden", the princess said.  
  
"Yes, my princess! Uh... We must make preparations for your immediate departure", the captain continued.  
  
Later...  
  
A short scientist (yes all scientist are short in this series) addresses the princess. "Everything is ready, my princess! All that is needed is to transform you into an earth being. Now if you are ready, we will begin! Any question? Ah good! We begin!  
And with the hum of electricity and a great flash the procedure is accomplished. A well built and nude blonde emerges from the transformation chamber.  
"Eeww! What a Ghastly form! How can they stand each other?"  
  
"Beats me, my princess, but one must get use to it! Here princess! This pill will give you the ability to speak any of their languages. You must take one every twenty four hours", the scientist said.  
  
A few minutes later...  
  
"As you know, in order to assimilate the earth culture, we will not be able to return for at least four weeks' time! In which we'll return and see the results"! The captain then helped Asrial into a tiny shuttle. "Once you are on Earth the shuttle will dissolve! And remember.. be inconspicuous! The fate of the conglomerate rests on you   
shoulders!" The captain then launches the shuttle. "Good luck, my princess. Prepare for light jump", the Captain says. "Now".  
"Uh, Captain... about the Randomizer...", a random crewmember states.  
  
The ship disappears at an incredible speed back for deep space, but you still manage to hear the Captain scream. "WHAT?!!"  
  
Back on Earth  
  
The Quagmire boy's coach blew his whistle. "Hey Feeple! C'mere", the coach yelled.   
"Look! Feeple's got the ball", a random student yelled.  
  
A thundering cloud of dust, that composes Feeple's P.E. class charged Jeremy.  
  
"Arnie! Take over for me", Jeremy yells. The soccer ball comes to a stop next to  
a spit polished black combat boot. We next see the figure wearing the boots smile. He's  
a huge muscular figure dressed sorta like 'Rambo'. Arnie quickly sizes up the situation and kicks the soccer ball with a sonic boom.  
"Yeah Coach", Jeremy asks.  
  
"The office wants to see you. Now", the coach stated. In the background we students lifted from the ground by the passing of a soccer ball.  
  
As Jeremy jogs to the office, he begins thinking. Hmm! I wonder what's going on? I hate it when no one tells me anything! Hope I'm not in trouble.  
  
Jeremy knocks and enters the principal's office. "You sent for me Mr. Weasel", Jeremy said.  
"Why yes Jeremy! There is someone I want you to meet!"  
  
"Hello, Jeremy! My name is Itchy Koo! You may not ember. ... But your father and mine were once good friends in Japan. Jeremy turns and is greeted with of a beautiful girl. Damn she remindes me of Akane, when she had long hair. What? She knew my father?  
The principal continued, "since she asked for you specifically Jeremy, I think that you should show her around".  
"Me, sir? But...  
  
"Good! You can start now", the principal said with a slight smile.  
  
After leaving the principals office we see Jeremy and Itchi walking in the hallway. "Uh, You'll have to excuse me for awhile! I got to clean up. I just got out of gym...  
"Fine", said Itchi.  
  
"I'll be ready in a few minutes." Several minutes later in the boy's shower. I wonder who she is? She's really beautiful. I may be a bit paranoid but, I find it strange  
an old friend of the family just shows up from Japan. But that's probably my past life talking. Why is it that mom necer mentioned her. And how does she know my dad. We still don't know exactly what happened to him. He turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around himself. If this was my past life. This is when she'd walk in on me. So many questions? Jeremy turns around and is suprised by Itchi standing right behind him. "What are you doning here? This is the boy's showers!"  
"I came to see what was taking you so long! oh, Don't be shy! Are you embarrassed. In Japan it is common to share baths! Unless you've something to hide..."  
Jeremy forced to defend himself yells, "I've got nothing to hide"! And he immediately drops his towel.  
"Are you sure", Itchi says.  
  
Jeremy just grumbles to himself. Damn. You think after one life dealing with women, I'd understand them better. Fine if she wants a free show so be it. I'm getting dressed. "Stay if you want, I'll only be a minute." I swear the next thing you know,  
I'll have a fiancee.  
  
Later...  
  
"So, Itchy Koo.. How long will you be here?"  
  
"Until I graduate from the school."  
  
"I'm sure you'll enjoy staying here!"  
  
Heh heh! This will be easier than I thought! I will be clan leader earlier than that old goat imagined.  
  
A voice from down the hall yelled, "Hey Feeple"! Three young men approach Jeremey and Itchi. "Why didn't you tell us you knew good looking chicks? Wow! Aint she a fine one! Jeremy you lucky dog."  
"Uh, Hi fellas!"  
  
"More of these worthless Americans", she thought.  
  
"Phrank...Mikey...Howard.. Meet Ichy Koo! She's from Japan you know!  
  
"Are you taking her to the prom, Jeremy", howard asked.  
  
"What is a prom?" Itchi asked Jeremy.   
"Well, uh... It's where a boy asks a girl to take her to a big school dance... In order to get to know a girl better." I have a feeling, I know where this is going", Jeremy thought.  
"Oh Jeremy! Ask me! Ask me", Itchi asked fluttering her eyelashes. "Please! Take me to this prom."  
Damn If I get a fiancee, I will be batting a thousand today. "Okay.. Itchi Koo... Will you.."  
"Yes? Yes", she said in a hopeful voice.  
  
The converation was ended by a sonic boom, which was followed by an explosion.  
Jeremy ran out the front door of Quagmire high with Itchi in close pursuit. He ran past a student, "What's going on?" He saw a cute blonde beating on a metal cylinder. He heard her yell, "dissolve, you stup thing! dissolve!"  
  
"Just a spaceship landing...", a student said with a stunned expression.  
  
"Darling! Come back! Jeremy Feeple. Come back here", Itchi yelled.  
  
Asrial turned away from her shuttle. Jeremy... Jeremy Feeple?! "Are you Jeremy Feeple?!"  
"Yeah", he said. I have a feeling, I may regret that.  
  
She grabbed both his shoulders and said, "Jeremy! Marry me!"  
  
Jeremy could only repeat in a barely discernable voice, "Marry you"?  
  
Behind the two of them Itchi screamed. "What?!" Her battle aura explodes into a  
impressive display. She then grabs Jeremy from the blonde's grip. "Listen sister! He's going to marry me! Just who do you think you are?"  
"I am Princess Asrial of the Royal Conglomerate! By royal decree I order him to marry me!"  
"That dosen't hold water! I met him first! He's mine! My future in the clan rests with him", Itchi declared.  
Both girls quickly move to a tug of war over Jeremy. Jeremy for his part is stunned. This is great at this rate I'll have a curse and more fiancees before the month  
is over. This bites, I try to live a normal life for once...  
The girls fight is ended by Arnie jumping through a classroom window. Landing on his feet he opens fire with an M-60 and a MAC-10. A few seconds later he stops firing. Both girls look at him with a blank expression. The erie quiet is broken only by  
the falling limbs from newly prunned trees. "Heh! Thought I heard an explosion! Sorry..", Arnie Said.  
Professor Steamhead took this opportunity to speak. "Ah, Ladies! I couldn't help but to overhear your conversation! I think I have the solution."  
"What is your suggestion little man", Ichi asked?  
  
"A contest", Steamhead replied.  
  
"A contest? What kind?" Asrial said with an interested expression.  
  
"A deul of wits and skills as well as a test of physical endurance! This will be the only fair way to decide who will marry this boy!" Steamhead said with a smug expression.  
The two girls looked at each other and then turned to the short professor. "Well do it."  
"Excellent", Steamhead said.  
  
"Fine", Jeremy said. It'll be better to solve this now. My hopes in my old life of my fiancee problem solving itself didn't happen. If nothing else it will be easier to get rid of the winner. I hope  
The view fades to a roof of a modest two story home. We watch as a ninja hangs upside down, while opening a second story window. Stealthly the figure enters the house and quickly moves down the staircase. The figure pauses and silently draws a katana. With a yell the figure struck with his sword.  
  
A woman screams, "Ricky!"   
  
"Hi mom... Good cake", he said. We see a choclate cake with a large slice removed.  
"That cake was for your brother and our new guest."  
  
"Oops! Sorry, Mom! Didn't know it was for company!  
  
"Now I've got to bake another cake", she said with a sigh.  
  
"Who's coming over?"  
  
"Someone from a long time ago... When I met your father!"  
  
"Dad?" Ricky said with sudden interest.  
  
"Yes... Many years ago while I was just a novice ninja. I feel in love. I had just finished practice when our eyes meet... It was love at first sight. But in order to leave the clan to marry.. I had to promise our first son to the leaders first born granddaughter."  
"Gosh.. Boy, did I lucky out", Ricky said.  
  
"Ricky.. You have to promise not to tell your brother! Don't argue, just promise okay?"  
"Oh, all right! I promise!  
  
Later that day...  
  
"Mom! I'm home! I brought a guest", Jeremy yelled. Mom! Meet Itchi Koo!"  
  
"Yes, I know!"  
  
"You two know each other?"  
  
"Yes Jeremy."  
  
"She's going to be our guest while she is attending school", his mom said. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about her earlier..."  
"She's staying here? Itchi! Why didn't you say something?"  
  
"I.. I forgot..", she mumbled.  
  
"That's okay! It'll be great to have you stay with us, Itchy! Hope we get to know each other better", Jermey stated.  
"Hmm.. Maybe I've misjudged this boy.. So sinscere! Son innocent! So nice! And he is kind of cute... No!! I must rember! The clan! The clan!"  
"How about stemed clams for dinner", Jeremy's mom said.  
  
At a gas station in Quagmire...  
  
"Hey , George... J' notice that der building over yonder before? A heavy set man in a rocking chair said refering to a forty story skyscraper. The building has the letters 'RNC' on the side of the building.  
"Nope.. T'wernt ther yesterday, he said before going back to whittling.   
  
Inside RNC Quagmire headquarters...  
  
A nameless ninja presents an envelope to Lendo. "My Lord! Here is the information that you requested!"  
"Excellent", Lendo said. "So this is the man who seeks the hand of Itchi Koo!  
Soon he will learn the full power of Lendo! Assemble the army!"  
  
Elsewhere...  
  
We see a garage with Asrial talking to Professor Steamhead. "Thank you for finding a place for me to stay professor!"  
"I am sure that for an alien you will find all the equipment you need for tomorrow's contest!"  
"How did you know I was an alien? My ears? (she has a second pair of ears higher up on her head, that are cat like.) Why is it that you noticed them.. and no one else did?"  
"Because I have been studying your race for years" the small man said.  
  
"What is it you want", she asked?  
  
"Something your race possesses."  
  
**End Issue #1 **  
  
  
*********************Episode 2: "The Contest"  
  
Morning in the small mid-western town of Quagmire... And yeat another peaceful day falls on this tiny community... Or so it seems. We slowly move towards a window of the Feeple household.  
  
An alarm clock goes off on a small bedside table. We see our hero (or victim) rise sleeply from his bed. He stretches and scratches before heading to the bathroom. He opens the door of the bathroom and is suddenly blinded. The viewer sees a bra land squarely on Jeremy's head.  
"Good morning, Jeremy! Do you want to use the shower first", Itchi asked (naked except for her panties) a startled Jeremy.  
"Uhh.. Thanks, Itchi! I'll just be a minute." Jeremy said as he quickly undressed and got into the shower. If she's going to play with my mind. I'll play with hers, Jeremy  
thought while in the shower.  
Itchi stood there stunned. Why didn't... He can't find me unattractive. After several minutes her ego came up with an acceptable idea. He's that innocent?  
  
  
"Jeremy!! Hurry up or you'll be late for school", his mother said.  
  
"Okay mom! I'll be right down.  
  
"The shower's yours, Itchi." Jeremy said as he wrapped a towel around himself.  
  
Later.  
  
"Good morning, Mom!" Jeremy said as he entered the kitchen.  
  
"Good morning Jermey! Break-fast is on the table", his mother said. "Sleep well?"  
"Yeah."  
  
"Where is Itchi", his mom asked?  
  
"Preparing for the contest this afternoon. In case you didn't know I getting stuck with a fiancee", Jeremy said. Did I piss off a Kami in a former life.  
"That's not a positive attitude to have, Jeremy. You must understant that things like this will pop up in your life, and it is best to face them now! Besides, I think that whoever wins will make you a great wife. Now finish your breakfast or it'll get cold."  
  
Great advice mom. After spending so many years dealing with Nabiki and my fiancees, I should be able to find a loop hole in the contest to exploit. That's it. The Feeple household was unnerved as Jeremy did a good impression of Kodiachi's laugh. After calming down Jeremy turned to his mother. "Mom, tell Itchi, I have some errands  
to run before school. Thanks bye..."  
Jeremy was out of the house before his mother could even argue. "Sigh. Ricky could you wait outside, I want to talk with Itchi privately." Itchi came into the kitchen a few minutes later. "Itchi, please sit down. I may be a retired ninja, and your family raised me when I was but a wee orphan. I was taught by your grandfather to be the best ninja in the clan. Even though I am not actually family I am still part of the clan. Therefore as one family member to another... If you win, you must promise me that you will treat my Jeremy well. Promise me."  
After several minutes Ithi's resolves collapses. "All right! I promise."  
  
"Ninja honor", Ms. Feeple asked?  
  
"Ninja honor."  
  
"My son said he had some errands to run. So you should go ahead to school by yourself. He should be there shortly."  
  
Elsewhere in Quagmire...  
"I want Feeple stopped at all costs."  
  
"Understood, Lenod."  
  
Meanwhile...  
We see two figures at the front gate of Quagmire High School. The small stature of Professor Steamhead and the well endowed figure of Asrial (sorry got carried away).  
  
"Where are they?"  
  
"Patience, my dear. Patience!" Steamhead chided Asrial. "You must realize, Princess Asrial, that Itchi Koo will be ready for you also! Do not let the overconfidence swell in you that you become careless."  
"Bah! A human is no match for a Salusian of Imperial birth!"  
  
"Ahem."   
  
"Oh, Except for you, Professor Steamhead. After all... It is my duty to open the way of enlightenment for this planet by bewedding this Earth male... And to formally see that this planet becomes a member of the interstellar conglomerate. One question for you Professor. Out of all the millions of planets in our conglomerate... Why did you decide to help me in exchange for a small, rather worthless planetoid of boiling water."  
"Steam is never worthless my dear! It is the perfect place to conduct my steam experiment. A bargain is a bargain, eh princess? "  
  
"Okay! Okay! You don't have to keep reminding me, for goodness sakes! But rembember this, Professor Steamhead... You'll get your planet only if I win!"  
"You will my dear. Shhh! Here he comes!" Professor Steamhead cautioned. "Good morning, Jeremy. Where's Itchi?"  
"Good morning, Professor. And good morning to you, Asrial."  
  
"Hello, Jeremy (said in ultra-sweet tone of voice). Would you mind if I kiss you."  
  
Don't do it. It'll just get you in trouble. Before Jeremy could respond Asrial kissed him. Jeremy for a lack of a better response, responded by giving Asrial a deep kiss. He finally released her from the kiss and said, "Excuse me, Asrial, I need to conduct some business before school starts. I'll see you later." "Damn that was fun", he thought to himself. I know, I'll pay for it later but; if your damned, have fun doing it.  
  
A large number of student saw the kiss and the rumor mill quickly started up. Asrial had to leave to change her underwear before class.  
  
Itchi ran through the gates of Quagmire high five minutes later. "Where the hell is he", she thought. The students at Quagmire were smart enough not to mention the earlier event to the heavily armed girl. The day pasted slowly as both girls flirted with Jeremy and threatened one another. The tense peace in the classroom was maintained by the presence of a well armed Arnie. Several hidden ninja spent the day observing Jeremy in  
hopes of a good opportunity to kidnap him.  
  
End Episode 2:  
  
  
Later that afternoon...  
"Attention Please! Attention Please! The contest between Itchi and Princess Asrial is about to begin! All those holding tickets to rows sixteen to twenty four would you kindly be seated", Professor Steamhead said. "Now these are the rules, girls. You're to find a ring I've hidden somewhere in town and return it here! The first one to find it gets to marry Mr. Jeremy Feeble! Other than that, anything goes! Got it!  
  
Both girls responded, "Got it!!"  
  
"Make your final preparations now", the Professor said.  
  
Asrial prepares her lightweight power armor (the armor manages to cover very little and revealing alot of skin), while Itchi unsheathes her katana and tightens her arm bindings.  
  
"The only clue that I will give you is that the ring is hidden in a place as realiable as time!" The short professor said. "Begin!!"  
  
Both girls immediately think, "the school clock!"  
  
"I'll see you later, human! I've already won", Asrial said as her power armor took off from the ground.  
Itchi makes a leap at Asrial flying form. "Not so fast", Itchi thought. A swift slice of the katana takes off the armor's jump jets. Sending Asrial into the ground. Itchi runs swiftly to the school (taking a moment to tant Asrial).   
"Your not getting awat that easy", Asrial yells! Her armor's shoulders and thigh pads open to reavel small missel packs.   
Itchi watches in horror as the missels quickly close the distance with her. The unguided missel streak all around the running figure. As Itchi quickly approached the school, she notice a large glass window in front of her. "The school library it's my only chance", Itchi thought. The startled librian (Ms Grizzly) has just long enough to 'ssshhh!!', Itchi before several missels detonate in the library. Itchi regains consciousnous in time to avoid a burst of automatic fire from Asrial's armored gauntlet.  
"Why am I fighting her? All I need to do is get the ring", Itchi though as she quickly exited the library. "And I win. Then I will be able to marry Jeremy and finally become leader of the ninja koo clan."  
  
In another part of the library...  
  
Control yourself, Asrial! You don't want to kill her! "Otherwise I could jeopardize my entire mission of this planet", Asrial though to herself. All I got to do is get the ring! Asrial quickly closed the distance with Itchi. As she pasted Ithchi, she released a cloud of knock-out gas that engulfed Itchi.  
  
IN RNC's Quagmire headquarters...  
  
Lendo watched with amusment the fight unfolding on multiple monitors before him. "My! My! This girl is very resourceful! I could begin to like her very much", he said. "Unforunatley, I need to delay her, while my ninja recover the ring. Institute the delay action!  
  
Back at Quagmire high...  
  
As Asrial streaks towards to school clock tower a large figure blocks her way.  
The hulking figure launches a punch that temporary stuns Asrial. "I could excuse you for doing that because of my fine diplomatic nature... But I won't this this", she said. "Explode into pieces you human", she said. As shelaunched avolley of missels at the figure.  
The figure was bathed in fire before being revealed again. The left side of the figure had skin ripped away with a cybernetic body revealed underneath (think a terminator cyborg in a larger size). "So little girl! You want to play rough! Then I shall be more than happy to oblige", the figure said. "Or my name isn't Kenterminator!!" The scence fades to black with a stunned Asrial staring at the cyborg. The figure connect a solid punch to Asrial's chest. She dissapears through the hall wall in a cloud of dust.  
  
In the adjacent classroom...  
  
"Now class, we come to the whole point of the lecture", the professor began.  
  
"Boom!!" "Crunch!!"The stunned classroom watches as Asrial's battered form  
enters the classroom via the wall. The hulking cyborg quickly enters the room. "We will finish this now."  
"Excuse me! You're disrupting a interesting lecture", Arnie said. "I'll have to ask  
you to leave."  
"Prepare to die, human!!" With that the cyborg launches multiple rock crushing blows on Arnie.   
"That all you got", Arnie said calmly. Arnie connects to the cyborg knocking it through two walls and out of the school. He then turns to Asrial, who still gathering her wits. "You okay", he asks as he helps her up?  
"Thanks, Arnie. I gotta go", she said. Asrial immediately created another exit in the classroom through the ceiling.  
  
Meanwhile, in the clocktower...  
  
Itchi reaches a door at the top of the clocktower. "I hope, I'm not to late", Itchi thought. She opens the door to a scene of carnage. There stood Jeremy in a room strewn with a dozen R.N.C. ninja.   
"Hey Itchi", Jeremey said. "I was expecting you two a minute ago."  
  
"Jeremy? What are you doing here?"  
  
"Just taking control of my life for once", he said. At this moment a battered Asrial enters through the room's floor. "Hey Asrial."  
  
"Jeremy where's the ring", Asrial asked?  
  
"I believe the rules state, whoever finds the ring first wins. I found it, so I win."  
With that Jeremy closed his fist. Immediately his hand glowed red and wisps of smoke  
escaped through his fingers. "Well now that's settled let's grab dinner. I'm starved". "Don't worry", he said. "The contest is over, I win. By the rules neither of you has the ring, so neither gets me." "Well now that's settled let's grab dinner. I'm starved".   
  
Five minutes earlier in RNC Quagmire headguarters...  
  
"Damn incompent fools! I will save Itchi myself", Lendo yelled. "Lackey, ready  
my Wolfhound."  
  
Quagmire High School five minutes later...  
  
"I know you both want a resolution to this situation. But I didn't wish to be forced into a premature decision. So I agreed to Steamhead's idea to buy myself some time. And now that both of you have calmed down some, we can discuss this sanely."  
  
The conversation is interrupted by an increasingly loud rumbling sound. The wall closest to the group explodes into a cloud of dust and shrapnel. "Itchi! I'll rescue you! He quickly backhands Asrial into another wall with one hand of his mech, while grabbing Itchi with another.  
  
Jeremy quickly reacted to the new threat. "Itchi", he yelled as he leapt for the Wolfhound. Jeremy handed on the mech's right shoulder. Noone else in the room was sure what he later said, but the results were undisputed. Jeremy's fist blurred into action.  
The armor of the mech's cockpit began to crack and then splinter under the assualt.  
  
Lendo desperately tried to remove Jermey from his perch without sucess.   
  
Jeremy finally created a hole in the mech's cockpit. Through the hole he placed one hand cupping a small glowing sphere. The fact the sphere was less than a foot from Lendo's head wasn't lost on either party. "Yield", Jeremy asked?  
  
"Yield", Lendo replied as he powered down his mech.  
  
"Can we all get lunch now", Jeremy asked? "Lendo your buying for attempting to kill/kidnap us."  
  
Thirty minutes later at the Sakura Inn (only Japonese restaurant in town)...  
  
"So we all know each others motivation (Yes, Ranma's had a education in this life) for their behavior today. Now, I would like to suggest one possible solution", Jeremy said. "I marry Itchi for a few months. Then we divorce and I marry Asrial".  
"Do you dare to force yourself on Itchi vile cure", Lendo said about coming across the table (expect for Asrial's restraining hand).   
"No, I don't. Neither Itch's or Asrial's duties demand that. And I also wish to save that for whoever I care about.  
  
The inside of the restaurant was lit by a bright light. Princess Asrial. This is Captain Soandso. I hate to be the bearer of dad news, but we are at war with our enemies, the Zardons. Therefore, for your safety and because we cannot send any major craft to pick you up. You are to remain on Earth until further notice. We will be sending you supplies via probe. Oh, Yes... Before I forget... Our computers made an error you do not have to bewed Mr. Feeple. This transmission can only be viewed by Salusians of Imperial birth so your identify here will remain a secret... Farewell.  
  
"What was that flash", Itchi said.  
  
"Nothing... It was nothing", Asrial replied.  
  
"Do not despair Asrial", Jeremy said. "I under stand." He then turned to Itchi and said, "will you come to the prom with me?"  
  
  
Episode 4 (so the last heading was Episode 2. I combined issues #2 & #3 of NHS, deal with it).  
  
Episode 4: "That old black magic."  
  
Somewhere in New England...1692...  
  
We see a man in a cloak adressing a woman with a noose around her neck. The rope around the woman's neck ran over a tree branch and the improvised gallow was completed by a barrell the woman stood on. "So! Ye have been accused of practicing witchcraft and fraternizing with the devil! Have you anything to say in your defense?"  
  
"Yes! I never fraternized with the devil", the woman quietly spoke.   
  
"But you do practice witchcraft. Don't ye", the man yelled!  
  
"Oh, that? Of course!"  
  
"Okay... Just checking! Must be official", he said as wrote on a piece of paper. "So! Ye have been accused of practicing witchcraft and NOT fraternizing with the devil! For this ye shall be hanged by the neck until you are dead", the man declared!  
  
Fire seemed to crackle around the woman and her eyes glowed red. "Very well, Jeremiah! Hang me if you must, but be warned... If I hang you and yours will be plagued by a denizen of hell.... Until you are no more", she woman said.  
  
Jeremiah turned to a nearby guard, "Hang Her!"  
  
"But we saw her demons! If they return...", the frightened guard said.  
  
"She is a witch! Hang Her", Jeremiah ranted!  
  
"All right... if ...if.. you say so", the guard said. The guard slowly stretched out a shaking arm to move the barrel the woman was standing on.  
  
"Here! I'll do it", Jeremiah said. His black boot lashing out at the barrel. The barrell slipped from under the woman's feet.  
  
The woman hung suspended as she spoke. "Ye, Be warned, Jeremiah!! Ye are now cursed! Be it now and forever! The laws of nature will make sure that every first born of the Feeple family will suffer a terrible fate before reaching sixteen years", the woman said in a voice as cold as ice.  
  
The figure of Jeremiah stood whimpering as he considered the fate, he brought on his family.  
  
The view switches to a little girl standing behind Jeremiah. The tiny girl (probably not much more that six) spoke quietly. "Mama?"  
  
The woman hanging from the gallows spoke her last words, "Good-bye, My little darling." A tear rolled down the woman's cheek as she slowly left the world of the living.  
  
Several centuries later in what appears to be a witches lab....  
  
We see a red haired woman wearing glasses reading from a book titled 'Master's Family Album'. Next to the woman is a calico cat bathing itself. "Man! That's mondo cool! What happened then, Mimi" the cat asked (yes, the cat is a witch's familiar)?  
"Well, it says that she did eventually hang and die. Her child was adopted be some relatives...", the red head said.  
"Oh, really", the cat asked? "What about Jeremiah Feeple?"  
  
"He got what he deserved. According to the book, he only hanged one real witch of the many he had accused", the woman replied.  
  
"Wouldn't it be something if Jeremiah had descendants being plagued by that curse. Right at this very moment", the cat said.  
"Omigosh", the woman yelled as she ran from the lab. The exited the lab through a secreat door (hidden in a book shelf). And entered a modern library. She then began to furious type on a computer.  
  
"Whatcha doin' Mimi", the cat asked?  
  
"Checking a file, Aloysius... A-Ha!" She said reading a computer screen. The computer screen said the following:  
  
'Witches Update:Computer Mail Archive Service  
  
Subject:Master's Curse  
  
Demon Description  
and number:Minor Demon: creates mischief, chain-smokes, unable  
to harm anyone but assigned target.  
Demon Number: 0180-164208085  
  
Target Current Mailing  
Address:123 Maple Street, Quagmire, U.S.A. 30597'  
  
  
"It says here the current descendent of the curse lives on 123 maple street. In a small town called Quagmire", Mimi stated. "His name is....."  
  
In Quagmire USA.......  
  
We hear a voice yell, "Jeremy Feeple, Go!!" As we watch a soceer ball speed past.  
"Go! Go! Go! Jeremy Go!", a woman in her late twenties yelled.  
  
"Ms. Celande... Please, you're embarrassin us", Itchi yelled.  
  
"Oops, Sorry I'll be quiet", she said.  
  
"You know ever since Ms. Celande transfered here. I've notice she acts rather well... Immature", Asrial said.  
"Hmmm... Yes, she dosen't set a good example for the students. She seems to have a crush on Jeremy", Itchi said with a pout.  
"Don't worry girls! Give here time to adjust to our routine here", Professor Steamhead said.  
  
On the soceer field...  
We see Jeremy running down the soceer field towards a Fluggerville player. The player attempts to execute a pass. Jeremy easily reads the other player's move. "I got it", Jeremy yelled. Easy goal! Heh... I'll be a hero!"  
We see a clawed hand appear behind Jeremy. The hand violently pushes Jeremy foward. We watch as the soceer ball collides with Jeremy's face.  
  
Back in the stands....  
"Oh, No! Jeremy's been hit, again", Ms. Celande yelled in horror.  
  
"That makes it the tenth time this game", Itch yelled.  
  
Elsewhere (accutually, 50 ft above the soceer field on a flying broom)....  
"Ah, Ha! That's him", a familiar red head says.  
  
"What? What do you see", the cat asked.  
  
"Jeremy Feeple! He's the one with the curse! Quickly we must save him! We haven't a moment to lose", Mimi yelled.  
  
Back on the ground (aka socceer field)....  
  
Arnie was helping Jeremy to his feet. "Ha! Ha! I don't even know why you showed uptoday. Your're going to Japan the day after tomorrow. You won't even be here for the playoffs", Lendo taunted.  
  
Lendo was quickly silenced by Arnie's version of a 'Demon Head' attack.  
  
Jeremy was barely on his feet before he was caught up in a hug. "Ms. Celande". Jermey said with suprise.  
"Oh, Jermey! Are you all right? Are you hurt? Did the ball bruise your sensitive head? There, there. I'll make it all better", Ms. Celande said.  
"Don't be so fawning", Itchi said as she lifted Ms. Celande off the ground by her collar.  
  
"Oh, He's all right. Just a little knock on the noggin", Asrial said.  
  
"Take more than that to stop him", Itchi said.  
  
"Jeremy Feeple", said a new voice. Jeremy slowly removed the ice pack fro his face. He then caught an armfull of red head.  
  
"Thank goodness! I've found you." Mimi said as she hugged him.  
  
  
  
  
Itchi and Asrial immediately look like something crawled in their underwear (I base this on their panicked faces. Question to be answered much later. Why does Asrial care?).  
  
"Wait! Are you going to marry him", Arnie asked?  
  
"Why... No", Mimi replied with an embarrassed expression. In the background Itchi and Asrial breath a large sigh of relief. She then take a serious tone and says, "No!  
I've come to save him from a curse my ancestors gave his ancestors", she said.  
  
"You mean mean how, I attact fiancees like pocket lint", Jeremy said.  
  
"Ah.. No", Mimi replied. "A demon!"  
  
"What", Jeremy yelled!  
  
"Oh, yeah", Asrial says.  
  
"I thought so", Arnie replied.  
  
"That figures", Ms. Celande said.  
  
"If fact..", Mimi says. She removes a vial from her purse. "Reveal thyself demon", she says as she flings the vial at the ground.  
With a flash of fire and a stench of sulfur a dark figure rises from the ground. "Who dares", a voice yells!  
  
"It is I! Mimi Masters! Witch of the coven!"  
  
The demon scratches the back of it's head in an embarassed gesture. "Heh, Just wanted to know. What can I do for you, Mimi", the demon asks?  
"Awright! Who are you", Arnie asked, while holding an M-60 one handed (not easy, they weigh a hell of alot)? Itchi and Asrial are on each side of Arnie holding an SMG (sub-machine gun) pistal and a katana at ready.  
"Like the lady said.. I'm a demon. Jeremy's curse", the hulking fiqure said. The demon then took the chance to draw a cigarette from it's pack.  
"Yes, demon! And now I'm going to remove you from this plane of exsistance once and for all!" She said as began flipping trough a large tome of magic (not in previous scenes). "Let me just get my spell book out...", Mimi said. Her cat took the opportunity to stick it's tounge out at the demon.  
"Won't do you any good lovely lady. I'm a demon out of the 0100 series", the demon said lighting up an cigarette.  
"He is correct as a 0100 series. He cannot be reomved except by the orginal caster", Professor Steamhead said.  
  
"Yeah, yeah! How did you know Professor Steamhead", the demon said.  
  
"A scholar of steamology must know these things, my inhuman friend", Steamhead said.  
"Seems that you are right! But the person who cast it has been dead for over threee hundred years!" Mimi said looking up from her book.  
  
"So!" Jeremy said slightly perplexed.  
  
"What? What do you mean? Aren't you even a little concerned", Mimi asked Jeremy?  
"I mean... Who cares? He hasn't done anything to me and if he stays invisible I won't have to look at him."  
  
"Gee thanx", the demon grumbled.  
  
"You don't understand Jeremy! The 0100 series are like imps! They just do subtle things to you, like mischief! They make your life miserable", Arnie said.  
  
"You wouldn't happen to be responsible for Jeremy's performance today", Lendo asked.  
"Not only that but... I planted the idea in Itchi's grandfathers head to marry her to Jeremy. And I meased with Asrial's randomizer to marry her to Jeremy, knowing she would have to fight it out with Itchi. And I made Lendo insanly jealous to the point he'd willing kill Jeremy", the demon said gloating.  
  
"You! You're responsible!! You put me through that", Jeremy screamed. With a flying leap Jeremy tackled the demon. Before they hit the ground Jeremy's hand were wrapped around the demon's neck.  
  
"Yeah, and I'd do it again", the demon said as Jeremy tried to choke it.  
  
"No, Jerem! No! You're supposed to be sweet...", Itchi said dragging Jeremy off the demon. "...And nice", Asrial continued.  
  
"Thanks, babes", the demon said dusting itself off.  
  
"Let us do it", the two girls yelled! Asrial started the event with a mallet strike, that made Jeremy have flashbacks of Akane. Itchi on the other hand prefered the older method of stomping the demon.  
After several seconds of extreme violence the demon regained it's feet. "Stop", he yelled. "I am a demon! A really scaly winged, brimstone breathing demon", he yelled doing a Soun demon head attack.   
  
"Oh, gee! We're sorry, Mr. Demon", Asrial said.  
  
"Yes! This is a side of you we've never seen", Itchi replied.  
  
"Oh, yeah! You're really sorry now! And my name is Stanley, thank you", the dmon said tensly.  
"Ahem! While you have been playing demon encounter group... I've come up with a plan to get rid of stanley", Ms. Clelande said.  
  
"You!? Why would you want to save this stupid brat", Lendo said.  
  
"Actually I'm kind of curious myself Mita", Arnie said.  
  
"None of your business, young man! But... Let's just say I have a stake in his continued well being", she said as she hugged a very neverous Jeremy.  
  
Fade to Quagmire high school....  
  
"Woah!! I've never been here before, Mita. This is a secret storeroom Jeremy", Mita replied.  
"When I first came here, this was a strange and wonderous place but things soon became dull! ("You've only been here one weeks", Jeremy said in the background.) So in order to combat the daily routine of school teaching I spent my lunch hour here", she said as she pulled the tarp of a large object", Mita said. A large clear sphere with some controls against once clear wall were revealed.  
  
"So what is this thing? And why is it in my work room", Asrial asked?  
  
"Now ain't that something", Stanley said staring at the object.  
  
"Because you're the only kid here who has a generator that will power the anchor", Mita replied.  
"Hmmm... No! It can't be", Professor Steamhead thought. "As Ms. Celande! I noticed you have a sonic transducer installed in this device."  
  
"Yes, A modified one", Mita replied.  
  
"This sonice transducer.. It is I suppose some kind of audiovibratory physio-molecular transport device", Steamhead replied.  
  
"You mean", several people said at once!!!?  
  
"Yes! Something I myself have been working on myself for quite some time! But it seems our friend here has found a means of perfecting it", Steamhead said with a lecturing voice.  
  
Big deal. Bet I could get one. Lendo said while staring at the device.  
  
"That switch is capable of breaking down solid matter and projecting it through space and who know? Perhaps through time itself", Steamhead declared!  
  
"You mean your're going to send me to another planet", the demon said cowering.  
  
"What an ingornamus! It's a time machine, ya jerk", Mimi's cat said.  
  
"You built a time machine out off a fishbowl", Jeremy said.  
  
"Well, If you going to build a time machine, why not with a little style", Mita replied.  
  
"Of course! If there isn't any way to remove the demon now... You can go back in time and prevent the spell from being cast at all", Arnie said. "Mita! You're a genius!"  
  
"That should work...shouldn't it. Mimi", Jeremy said.  
  
"Hmm.. Perhaps it's worth a try", Mimi replied.  
  
"Haven't you forgotten one important thing", the demon said with lighting crackling around it. Everyone ignores the posturing demon.  
  
"Oh, Yes! I need someone to mind the time anchor", Mita replied. "Lendo.. How about you?"  
  
"Sure.. Why not", Lendo said tartly.  
  
"All righty! This is a time anchor it allows us to return to this period when we want too...", Mita said point at a dull looking square.  
  
"Well, suppose I kill him and destroy that thing! So there", the demon said threating Lenso.  
"What?! No one kills Rivalsan Lendo without my permission", Lendo thought to himself.  
"Oh, No. No. No. I'm insuring you don't harm the machines. And you know you can't hurt anyone but your host victim", Mimi replied as she cast a cantrip on the anchor.  
"And I'm going along so Lendo won't be temped by you to endanger Jeremy", Itchi replied.  
"I can still pummel the brat into oblivion", the demon said as it cracked it's knuckles. The shadowy figure is backlite by an dark aura crackling with power.  
  
"No you can't", Arnie state with a serious expression.  
  
"Oh yeah! Who's gonna stop me", Stanley said.  
  
"My lad did you hear about the great demon purge of Transylvania", Professor Steamhead thought.  
  
"Uh.. Yeah", Stanley replied.  
  
Arnie and Professor Steamhead chuckled in an evil laugh that caused the demon's eye to bulge out.  
  
"I'm starting up the time displacement modulator! Better hurry and get inside everyone", Mita said from the sphere's control panel. "We're about to pierce the time barrier. Instruments reading positive! Digital readout indicates A-Go! Everyone's in, So here we go! Now!"  
The sky over Quagmire is lite up as the time machine punches through the school's roof leaving a trail of fire through the air.   
  
"Ms Celande? Why are we moving? In all those movies I've seen the time machines remain stationary", Itchi replied.  
"A common misconception Itchiy Koo! You see......" (begin several minutes of Quantum physics my boring than watching paint dry).  
"We're not the only ones moving through time and space", Asrial said. She's said pointing at another objects corona. The object is moving in a converging course with the time machine. Closer inspection reveals the demon following the time machine.  
"I'll put an end to that real quick", Arnie said pulling out an M-60 (the M-60 not seen for about thirty minutes). Open up the hatch, Jeremy", Arnie said as he loaded the M-60.  
"If you open the door, you could change the cabin pressure", Jeremy said. "Wait till we land and you can pummel the demon at your leasure."  
"Not only that, we could be sucked out and blown apart through time", Steamhead said.  
"Yes Arnie! You should never open the door of a moving time machine", Mita said. Arnie replied with by sulking. "But I think if I put some more speed, we can lose him!"  
The demon face falts as the time machine leaves him like the road runner leaving the coyote.  
  
"According to me calculations we should be there in three stationary minutes! Hmmm.... Well, telemetry indicates we'll be there soon", Mita states. As the time machine burns back into the planet's atmosphere.  
  
Fade to the inside of a home in the 17th centry somewhere in New England.....  
  
We see a woman wearing puritian clothing close the Bible she's reading to her daughter. "We have a few visitors", child she says as she looks outside the window. "Salutations... What can I do for you weary travellers", the woman askes the strangers.  
  
"We must speak with you widow Masters", Mimi said.  
  
"Ye have seen it with your own eyes! She is a witch!! She has summoned a globe of demons to destroy us all", a man in puritian dress rants. Jeremiah Feeple continues, "She must be purged!! Get a rope! Get torches!"  
Several minutes later a mob is formed and ropes and torches have been procured.  
The cry of "Get that witch!" was chanted by the crowd. Unnoticed by everyone the demon pops into reality in a ball of light (think Terminator 2 style).  
  
Back at the house a long conversation bewteen widow Masters and Mim is weapping up...  
  
Professor Steamhead is looking out a window. "Arnie, Itchiy, Asrial, come with me! The rest of you stay here."  
  
"What's up Professor", Arnie yelled (no sign of M-60).  
  
"He's somehow followed us here", Steamhead said.  
  
Outside the house the demon lift a large boulder in prepartation of crushing the time machine. The demon is startled by a long burst of armor piercing bullet impacting with his upper body courtesy of Arnie. The attack is immediately followed by Mimi's cat clawing the demon's face.  
  
"Stupid cat", the demon yells as he throw the cat.  
  
Itchi launches a barrage of shurkien that embedd themself in the demon in several vital places. "It didn't faze him", Itchi said stunned.  
"Let me try something", Asrial says as she wretchs a large boulder (maybe 10 or so tons) from the ground. "This will teach you to trifle with a Salusian of Imperial birth".  
Author's pointless note: Asrial really cute, when she's got an attitude. Okay. She's always cute. The stone impacts into the stunned demon driving it back horizontally ten feet before the boulder pins the demon to the ground.  
Steamhead take the opportunity to mock the pinned demon. The demon shatters the boulder and prepare to attack Steamhead. "Why you little freak! I outa...", Stanley screamed.  
"Oughta what, scaly!? You can't harm anyone but you host/victim", Steamhead taunts.  
The situation is too much for the demon and be begins crying (Soun Tendo level of crying).  
"Professor! Ms. Master's won't cast the spell she promised", Jeremy said. "What's with him", he said pointing at the demon.  
"Excellent! Then I suggest we pile into the time machine and abscond....", Steamhead said.   
  
"Everything's okey dokey, eh, Ms. Celande", Jeremy said.  
  
"Hmm... I wonder", Mita said.  
  
The time machine take off in a pillar of fire. Leaving the demon sitting in the woods. The demon stops crying and looks up. The demon stand and begins to dust himself off. The demon begins to chuckle and the begins to bellow as he slowly fades out of exsistance. Outside the house we see the town mob approaching the house.  
  
Back in the present....  
  
"Well, home sweet home", Jeremy said as the time machines reenters the school via the hole (it made earlier in the school). A few minutes later everyone disembarks from the time machine. "I'm free! All right", Jeremy said as he put his hands behind his head.  
  
"Oh, We're happy for you Jeremy", Itchi and Asrial both say.  
  
"Isn't it great mimi! We did it", her familiar said with glee.  
  
Mimi stood there quietly pondering something. "I guess so!  
  
"You know Jeremy, if it wasnt for stanley we all would have never met", Itchi said as she wrapped him in a hug (noone notices evil stare from Asrial).   
  
"Hey, you're right", Jeremy said.  
  
Mimi look up at the trio. She then pulled Jeremy from Itchi's grasp. "Jeremy, I have something to tell you", she said. She kissed him on the lips and said, "Good luck Jeremy! But I must be going... Good-bye! Thank you", she said.  
Jeremy stand there stunned as everyone watches Mimi leave. Mita has an amused expression on her face. Itchi has a disapproving look on her face. Arnie looks to be in deep thought. And Asrial has a concerned look on her face.  
  
"Well, that certainly was quite an adventure", Steamhead said.  
  
"It was okay", Asrial said as she pondered Mimi kissing Jeremy. "It's too bad the feul ran out of Ms. Celande's time machine it might have come in handy." In the background Itchi giving Jeremy an evil look (strong enough that a person could see the dagger she was staring at Jeremy.  
"Now where is that Lendo? He was supposed to...", Steamhead said as he left the school.  
A large spacecraft sat in the front courtyard of the school. "It's an imperial salusian probe ship", Asrial said.  
"What have you done to Asrisal?! Where is the princess", a large robot said.   
"You will tell me where I can find the princess!"  
  
"I don't know", Lendo said.  
  
"Here pod is here! What happened to her", the robot said.  
  
"Nanny! Here I am", Asrial said.  
  
"Asrial! Thank God you're here", Lendo said. "Save me from your care package."  
"Asrial! Baby! You're safe! That nasty bald thingie kept saving you had gone time in a bubble. And I thought, he insande! How will poki and I protect ourselves", Nanny said as she hugged Asrial. (Poki is the cute little racoon creature sitting on Nanny's head).  
  
"Professor! Lendo! This is my robot nanny and my pet poki", Asrial cute.  
  
"Charmed I'm sure", the Proessor said.  
  
"Asrial! Your're furless", Nanny yelled. Lendo took his chance to escape while everyone was distracted."  
  
Later several hundred feet in the air.......  
  
"So what was that wink of unreality", Mimi's cat said.  
  
"That was the end of the time paradox. I realized that if we prevented the curse then there would be no reason to stop it. If there was no reason to stop to stop it. Then we would not have gone back and the curse still occur", Mimi said.  
  
"So that we had an endless circles of time.... It just ran itself out", the cat said.  
  
"Mmmm Yes. As with all paradoxes of that type do! After all, time must progress! I also realized that we were the reason for the widow master's death in the first place! Jeremiah Feeple mistook us for summoned demons", Mimi said.  
  
"So Stan is still around!"  
"I think Stan knew all along we couldn't get rid of him. But I gave Jeremy a good luck kiss! It should be able to interfere with Stan's powers for a while", Mimi said.  
"Too bad you didn't just have Miss Masters remove the curse... Since she was the orginal caster", her familiar said.  
  
"Omigosh!"  
  
End Episode 4:  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter2

Ranma Ninja High School (NHS)crossover:  
  
Disclaimer: I own neither NHS or Ranma 1/2. This work is intended as a tribute to two great series. I do this only for love of both series and swear I'll earn no money off the work of many talented people.  
  
Dear reader please forgive me mangling two beautiful series. If I'm lucky, I will succeed in combining the best elements of both. If not maybe I can create interest in NHS.  
  
Warning: A very early fanfic by me. I terminated my work and only two chapters are available.  
  
Episode 05: The Girl Who Came in from the Cold.  
  
Fade in to a busy airport somewhere in the Midwest.....  
  
"Obachan Aunt! Jeremy! I've found him", Itchi said.  
  
"Ricky! Why did you run from Onechan older sister", Ms. Feeple said to her youngest son.  
"I thought I saw Arnie, Mom! And Itchy got me a coke, see?"  
  
"For the coke... Gomen nasai Ichikun sorry, Itchi ", Ms. Feeple said as she tried to give a dollar to Itchi.   
  
"Ii desu yo obchan It's all right, aunt", Itchi replied. "I bought one for myself!"  
  
"Why'd you run away ya' jerk", Jeremy said to his brother. "Want us to miss our plane"?  
"I though I saw Arnie and Itchi got me a soda", Ricky replied as he failed to dodge a playful punch from his brother.  
  
"Obasan. I've noticed that Ricky admires Arnie a great deal", Itchi stated.  
  
"Yes. Arnie has contributed a great deal to both their up-bringings", Ms. Feeple said to Itchi. "He's the closest thing they had to a father since my husband went missing", she though to herself. (Though I wonder, I Jeremy ever needed a father.)  
  
"Look, Jeremy! There's Arnie over there", Ricky yelled. Ricky quickly bolted from his brother's side and made a leaping kick at Arnie.  
Arnie blocked the first kick with his right arm and his second arm caught the second blow. After a second Arnie smiled, "Better".   
  
"I've been really practicing hard", Ricky said.  
  
"I can see, but you're still a little slow on your upswing", Arnie replied. "If your going to be a real superhero, ya' gotta practice everyday! But always do your homework first!"  
"Hello Arnie", everyone said.  
  
"Hello everyone. Sorry I'm late but Asrial had to look after her Nanny.... Since her arrival she's been feeling a little under the weather" Arnie said. "Hey, Jeremy, we need to spar when you get back. I got a new curve to throw at you."  
  
"Of course", Jeremy replied.  
  
"Hello dear", Ms. Feeple said as she kissed Arnie on his cheek.  
  
"High Ms. F! Ricky keeping you busy", Arnie asked?  
  
"As usual", she replied.  
  
"Attention, please would all those boarding JAL flight 714, with non-stop service to sappoeo, please board at this moment", a nearby loudspeaker blared.  
"Now, you dress warmly, keep an eye out on Ricky and behave yourself in front of grandfather. He can be a little strange at times, so be tolerant", Ms. Feeple said.  
  
"Have a pleasant journey, Jeremy", Itchi said.  
  
"I will, Mom. And thanks Itchi", Jeremy replied.  
  
"Bye", Jermey said over his shoulder as the two brother entered the boarding passage to the airplane.  
Once the two brothers were out of sight Ms. Feeple said, "Well, there go my babies."  
The stillness was broken as Itchi began to ball crying Soun Tendo style.  
  
A minute later....  
"Snif", Itchi said as she dried her eyes.  
  
"Don't cry, Itchi. He won't be gone long" Ms. Feeple said. "He'll be visiting all his relatives and attending a few weeks of school there. It'll be good for him to see the old country."  
  
Itchi watched the 747 taxi out to the runway. (Think of me, Jeremy.)  
  
Many hours later after an uneventful flight.......  
"Well, Ricky welcome back to Japan", Jeremy said. (Damn this brings back memories). "Keep an eye out for grandpa."  
"Jeremy! Over here", a short bald man with glasses said. A large towering man dressed in a chauffeur's uniform stood behind him.  
  
  
"Golly, Grandpa's real short", Rick said.  
  
"Rcky! That's not polite", Jeremy admonished.  
  
"I apologize, sir", Ricky said.  
  
"That is all right. Ricky, a man's measure isn't the size of his height, but the size of his heart. Besides, my chauffeur, Kuma, more than makes up for my stature Kuma looks like a human wall" 'Grandpa' states.  
"Take your bags, young sir", Kuma asked as he picked up the two boy's luggage easily.  
  
"Come Jermey, we must leave, we still have a ways to go", the old man said.  
  
"Thanks for meeting us, sir", Jeremy replied as they reach a car.  
  
"Heh, heh. I could not have you two running around Hokkaido searching, could I", the old man admonished. "And call me grandpa. I raise your mother as my own daughter." (Besides, if your mother and I have our way, your children will be calling me great-grandfather!)  
  
Later the sedan pulls up to a vast estate on a hill top Looks like an feudal Japanese castle.....  
  
"Ah, home sweet home", grandpa said. "Welcome, Jeremy to your home away from home. Kuma will show you to your rooms."  
  
"Cool", Ricky said as he began running up the steps to the main house.  
  
"It's incredible, grandpa. Mom mentioned you lived in a large house, but this", Jeremy said in awe.  
  
"It's a shelter", grandpa said author's note: one hell of an understatement.  
  
"Wow, look at all the neat places to hide", Ricky said.  
  
"Let me help you, Kuma", Jeremy said as he grabbed several bags of luggage.  
  
"He hasn't changed", Kuma thought to himself.  
  
The next morning in Jeremy's room.....  
The door to Jeremy's room slides open almost silently. "Go away, Ricky", Jeremy said as he burrowed deeper into his futon. A unfamiliar hand approaches the still asleep boy. The figure under the sheets explodes into action, he rolls away from the figure and quickly is on his feet "Who the hell...".  
  
"Good morning", a old woman in a kimono said.  
  
"Who.. Who are you", Jeremy stammers.   
  
"I am onichiwan, the housekeeper. You really ought to pick up after your self. Such bad habits reflect weak character", she says as she begins folding his clothes. "And sleeping so late on such a beautiful day", she continued scolding.  
"Since we're on bad habits shouldn't you knock before entering a room. I believe it is a common curtsey in this country is it not", Jeremy replied sharply.  
"Your right, I should have knocked", she replied. "There's no reason to be shy, unless you have something to hide." She laughs as she leaves the room.  
  
"Just what I need a old woman as annoying as Colonge", Jeremy thought. (Speaking of which, if I'm in Japan, I can cheek on something's. I can call Nerima and see if there is a Tendo dojo. He then stopped himself. If I call Nerima, what will I find. My past life was real. It was a really a dream. I might find Akane married to Kuno.... Maybe I should just live this life. Knowing my luck I end up with Akane, Ukyo, and Kodiachi chasing me before a weeks over if I visit Nerima. No. I won't look back. If it was a dream so be it. If it's real it's not my life. I'm here so someone else is there. Learn from the past but, don't live in it. This is my life for better or worse and I not try to live in my old one.)  
  
Later that morning....  
"So, grandpa, what's on the agenda today", Jeremy said.  
  
"Since it is too early to register you in school....", the old man said. "I thought I'd show you the grounds and let you and Ricky spend the rest of the day enjoying yourselves!"  
"Neat", Ricky said.  
  
Later on the estate ground...  
Two figures stand watching a flock of snow cranes dancing. "I used to take your mother here to watch the snow cranes. Living symbols of life, love, and happiness", grandpa said.   
  
"They're beautiful", Jeremy replied.  
  
"And rare, Jeremy, very rare", grandpa said.  
  
As the two figures watch one crane completes a jump only to fall heavily on the ground. After several seconds the bird is unable to regain it's feet. "Grandpa, Look! One of them's been hurt", Jeremy said. They quickly move to the injured bird and hold it still.  
"There, there..".  
"Hmmm... It appears to have a broken wing", his grandfather said with a analytical eye. "Quickly! Into the house. We must save this unfortunate creature.  
  
Several minutes later in the house...  
  
"There. The wing is set in place", grandpa said.  
  
"That was pretty fast", Jeremy said. (Tofu couldn't do better work).  
  
"Yes. I can set the bones of any creature and they will mend perfectly", grandpa said. "A technique taught to me be a water spirit long ago."  
  
"Really", Ranma said.  
  
"Maybe", the old man replied.  
  
"A very valuable bird, indeed. They are not normally found this far from Sado Island. Now to mix my special broth to give it strength..", the old man said.  
"No need. I have a better method", Jeremy said. He gently placed a hand on the injured wing. The hand slowly began to glow. After a minute Jeremy stopped. "That should help. If I do it again tomorrow the wing should be mended by the day after."  
  
"Where did you learn that", his grandfather asked?  
  
"From a three hundred year old woman.. In a past life", Jeremy said as he grinned at grandpa.  
After a second his grandfather laughed. "You almost had me with that Jeremy. But seriously I cannot continue to care for out little friend here and run my small corporation and still be a ninja clan leader. You will have to take care of the bird alone."  
"Sure, grandpa, no problem. I'd love too", Jeremy said.  
  
Two days later...  
In a clearing in the forest. "It seems to have recovered well, Jeremy", grandpa said.  
"Your cast and by secret sure did the trick. It seems to be fully recovered", Jeremy said. "Fly!" He said as he released the bird.  
"Now that's beautiful! Excellent job", grandpa said. "Will you show me how to do that trick now?"  
"Sorry, grandpa, it's a natural gift", Jeremy said. (I hate to lie but, who'd believe my story). "But, I'm sure going to miss it, though."  
  
That night during a blizzard.....  
Three lit candle sit in a candlestick holder. Then the air around the candles is alive with the sounds of a fast moving object. The three candles fall in multiple piece to the floor.  
"Amazing", grandpa said. "When your mother said you had some experience in fencing, I had no idea she meant a foil.  
"Well grandpa my dad loved those old swashbuckler movies espically the ones with Basil Rathbone. He got interested in fencing. And I picked it up from him", Jeremy said. (I wonder if mom told him about my other 'interests'?)  
The window behind Jeremy was blown open by a gust of wind. Jeremy crossed the room and shut the window. "Whew! What a blizzard", Jeremy said. (Kinda like that time Genma dragged into the mountain one winter. Survival training my butt.) "I hopoe the crane's okay."  
"Ha! Animals can take better care of themselves in the wilderness than any man. I doubt anyone would be out in this storm", grandpa said.  
"Nok! Nok! Nok!" Came the hollow sound from the house's front door. Jeremy crossed the door and opened it to the darkness outside. "Hello!?"  
A dark figure of the shadow was barely discernable in the darkness. "Please... Shelter?" The figure then collapse into Jeremy's arms and passed out. The figure was revealed as a beautiful and naked Japanese girl.  
Jeremy quickly handed the girl to his grandfather. "There might be someone else outthere. I gotta check!"  
"You can't....", his grandfather began only to stop when he realized Jeremy was no longer there. "Damn fool!"  
  
Several minutes later......  
Jeremy had reentered the house and found the household in a guest bedroom. The girl was quickly placed in a futon and covered in blankets. "How is she", Jeremy asked.   
  
"She has a fever but I think I can bring it down", the old housekeeper said.  
  
"Do what you can for her", grandpa said.   
  
"Will she be okay", Jeremy asked.  
  
"We can only hope, Jeremy", the housekeeper said.  
  
"Her face it can't be", grandpa thought.  
  
"Now we must give her some rest... and pray", the housekeeper said.  
  
The unconscious girl grabbed Jeremy's hand and said, "thank you". The girl then  
return to being unconscious.  
  
Later...  
  
"I am very glad to see you so well recovered. I am grandfather Ichinohei. These are my grandsons, Jeremy and Ricky. Onichiwan. My housekeeper and my manservant Kuma", grandpa stated.  
  
"You are all so kind. My name is Kyoko Tadasuke", the girl said.   
"Tell us, Kyoko what brought you to my humble home", grandpa asked?  
  
"I am a computer programmer from Tokyo. I was travelling to Sapporo when....  
I was suddenly jumped by two men, who dragged me from my care and took everything I had. Left for dead, I found my way to your house", Kyoko said.  
  
"Hmmm....", the housekeeper thought to herself.  
  
"That is when Jeremy found me at your door. Tank you", Kyoko said.  
  
"It's the duty of a martial artist think nothing of it", Jeremy said.  
  
"You are welcome here, Kyoko, and we all hope for a speedy full recovery! Come everyone let's give her some rest", grandpa said as he escorted the household from the room. "Until tomorrow, Good night", grandpa said to Kyoko.  
Grandpa left everyone else and walked slowly through the house. He enter a small room, that was the family shrine. He bowed before the family shrine. An old black and white picture sat on the family shrine. The picture on the shrine looked remarkably like Kyoko.   
  
The next morning.....  
  
"Grandfather! Kyokok isn't in her room", Jeremy yelled!!   
  
"Good morning, Jeremy", grandpa said.  
  
"Where is she", Jeremy said.  
  
"She felt better last night, so she stayed up doing computer programs. Said she felt she owed it to me. After all, we did rescue her from death", grandpa said.  
Jeremy executed a massive facefalt and landed on the. The then stand up and addresses his grandfather. "I don't exactly approve, grandpa. But I can't stop you. I'm going to see her. Grandpa throws his rice bowl tripping Jermey.   
"Jeremy, I want her to make a full recovery. If working is what relaxes her, then let her work. She espically requested to be left alone when she works. And she will be left alone", he said!  
The door to the sitting room opened revealing Kyoko. "Good morning, everyone."   
  
"Good morning, Kyoko. How are we this morning", grandpa asked?  
  
"Much better, thanks. I have some thing for you", she said. "A video game program for you to market through your corporation", Kyoko said shyly.  
  
"Ah! You shouldn't have gone through the trouble", grandpa said.  
"Uh, Kyoko", Jeremy asked?  
  
"Yes, Jeremy", Kyoko replied.  
  
"Would yyou like to go outside later today", Jermey asked?  
  
"I'd love to Jeremy", she replied.  
  
Several minutes later......  
  
"Time for your afternoon tea, sir", Kuma said.  
  
"Thank you Kuma", grandpa replied.  
  
"Kuma, what do you tink about Kyoko", grandpa asked?  
  
"She is.. a very nice young lady", Kuma replied.  
  
"Well, I've been thinking... she and Jeremy would make an excellent couple, don't you agree", grandpa said.  
  
"But... what of Ichikun", Kuma asked?  
  
Outside on the house grounds...  
  
Jeremy and Kyoko were walking on the edge of the forest. The couple rarely talked and seemed to enjoy the quiet. Jeremy turned to Kyoko and said, "Kyoko, I've got something to tell you. I think I'm in love with you.  
"Oh, Jeremy", she said stunned. "Hold me." Jeremy quickly wrapped her in a hug.  
Unnoticed by the couple was a figure in the woods. The housekeeper watched the couple with a deeping scowl.  
  
Several minutes later in the house...  
  
"I must save both Jeremy and the master from that she demon. Ah, ha! I know just how to do it", the housekeeper said to herself.  
  
Several more minutes later no it's not a trend....  
  
We watch a hand knock on a door. "Come in", a voice replies. The housekeeper enters a small room in which grandpa is going over the clan financees.   
  
"Your mail has arrived", she said.  
  
"Thank you. Please set it on the table", grandpa said.  
  
Later......  
  
We see grandpa sorting through the mail. "Yawn! Now to tackle the mail. Let's see... bill, bill, occupant, bill... eh, what's this? From Quagmire", he said to himself. (Ichikun? Ichikun!?) He drops the letter in shock. From the outside of the house a groan of anguish can be heard.  
  
Elsewhere...  
  
"Good night, Kyoko", Jeremy said.  
  
"Good night, Jeremy", Kyoko said shyly.  
  
Jeremy slowly walked down the hall from Kyoko's room. "I'm in love. We we're meant for each other! Tomorrow I ask her to marry me", he said to himself. Unnoticed by the lovestruck boy a man's shadow can be see in the background.  
  
A black cloaked figure silently enters Kyoko's room. The figure is grandpa in traditional ninja garb armed with a katana.  
  
"Enter", a woman's voice says.  
  
"You were expecting me", grandpa says.  
  
"There is little I do not know. For iinstance, I know that you have recieved word from your first granddaughter Ichikun", Kyoko replied. She steps from the darkness revealing she isn't wearing anything. "I also know you want to prevent me from marrying your oldest grandson. Jeremy."  
  
"......", grandpa said as he brought the katana in front of himself.  
  
"Nothing to say old man? He will be mine and mine alone! Now witness my true nature", Kyoko said. The dark outline of Kyoko changes as her fingers turn into talons and thorn like projections erupt from her forarms.  
  
"No... No", grandpa yells as he leaps at the figure!  
  
The old man is thrown back from the figure as Kyoko defeats his attack. "Old fool! My power prevents you from ever revealing the truth about me. I will have him in both flesh and spirit... and you are powerless to stop me", a voice colder than ice stated.  
  
Grandpa staggers from the room. "I've failed. There's no stopping it. It will take him awat. I'll lose him... like I lost my beloved Rumiko. And to think all I wanted was my little chichan's boy to marry mr son's daughter so we could be blood relations at long last. !! Of course!! That's it!! That's it! Grandpa quickly enters another room and begins going through a closet. "Whew is it? It must be here", he thinks to himself. "Ah!"  
The old man blow dust from an old photo.  
He leaves the from and find Kuma in the kitchen. "Kuma, have you seen Jeremy", grandpa asked?  
  
"Watching television in his room, sir", Kuma replied.  
  
"Ahem! Jeremy", grandpa asks?  
  
Jeremy is munching on a cookie watching 'Lum' and replies, "mmm... Yuh?"  
  
"Uhmm... I have some mail for you", grandpa says.  
  
"Thanks", Jeremy replies as he munches on a cookie.  
  
"Aren't you going to read it", grandpa asks?  
  
"Later", Jeremy mutters.  
  
"No!" Grandpa yells executing a 'Soun Demon Head' attack. The force of the attack cause Jeremy to be flung several feet. "Eer.. I... I mean you should read it before someone through it out.  
  
"Oh, all right then", Jeremy says as he get up from the floor. The first thing that catches his attention is an old photo of two children maybe six. One can be identified as Jeremy the other as a young Itchi. "That picture", Jeremy mutters in a stunned tone. "On, No!!" He yells. He then reaches with a shaky hand and open the letter from Quagmire.  
  
"Dear Jeremy,  
How are you? I hope you  
are having a great time in Japan.   
Things are boring here. Please hurry  
back. I miss you!  
  
xxxxxx  
Ichikun"  
  
Jeremy drops the letter stunned. He races through the house to Kyoko's room.  
He slams the door open ripping it from it's runner. "Kyoko!!" He then stops stunned at the sight before him instead of a young woman a snow crane sits at a computer.  
"Jeremy... No", the crane yells. The crane reverts back to human form and run into the room. "You mustn't see me like this", she says.  
  
"Kyoko. Wait I still want you to stay", Jeremy says.  
  
"No, Jeremy. I have done a great wrong! I though using my magic would make you love me", Kyoko replies. She reaches the window and stops. "Only your love for someone else could have been strong enough to break the spell. You don't really love me. You've realized that! That's why you came to me. In a wat, I'm glad. I'd rather you be happy with your true love than to be an enslaved pawn for my own selfishness! Farwell", she said as tears ran down her face. She then jumped from the window.  
  
"Kyoko", Jeremy yells as he race for the window. "Come back!!"  
  
Kyoko transforms in mid air into a snow crane. "Remember me, Jeremy", she says as she flies off.  
Jeremy catches a single feather in his hand. "I will, Kyoko... Always", he says as a tear run down his face.  
  
End Episode 5:  
  
Episode 06: To Be or Not to Be'  
  
On a quiet residential street in Japan. Itchi sweeps the front porch of the Feeple home. She looks at her watch as sighs. "Late again", she thinks to herself.  
  
Elsewhere....  
  
Asrial is working on her robot nanny. "Now. Are you sure this is tight enough", Asrial asks.   
  
"Yes, yes. It's fine. It just take some getting used to this planet's atmosphere.  
  
A buzzing noise then catches Asrial's attention. Asrial stares at the clock. "I didn't realize the time. Can we finish this later, nanny?"   
  
"Of course", Nanny says. "Have a good time and be diplomatic!"  
  
"Thanks. I'll be home before evening mealtime. Take care of Pooky", Asrial says as she kisses the side of Nanny's head.  
"Such a sweet-heart. She'll make a fine Queen of the empire", Nanny though as Asrial leaves. Asrial exits her shuttle with a VTOL Vertical take off and landing car  
and proceed to the Feeple house.  
"It's a shame that Nanny isn't quite used to Earth yet. I like it very much. But I can't help but wonder about the war with the Zardons and if I will ever return to Salusia.  
Anyways, I hope Ithi not too upset", Asrial thought as she land in front of the Feeple house.  
"What are you?! Crazy? Making me wait for so long", Itchi yelled.  
  
"Hi, Itchi", Asrial stated.  
  
"I've been waiting here for hours", Itchi said. Then Itchi caught the way Asrial smelled. "That smell! You're filty. You didn't even bathe", Itchi asked?  
  
"Oops", Asrial said.  
  
"Come along", Itchi said as she carried Asrial A-KO style.  
  
"Oh, very well", Asrial replied as she got drug along.  
  
"Now clean yourself", Itchi yelled as she threw Asrial into the bathroom.  
  
"Since it mean so much to you, I will do as you wish", Asrial replied. "But I'll need some clean clothes", she said as she flung he dirty clothes into a pile .  
  
"Hmm... What would look good on Asrial", Itchi thought.  
  
"Something wrong", Asrial asked?  
  
"No. Just trying to find something for you to wear", Itchi replied.  
  
"How about your school dress", Asrial asked.  
  
"Hmm.. Okay", Itchi stated.  
  
"Fine. I alwats wanted to try this", Asrial said.   
  
Several minutes later....  
  
"I dunno Itch. What do you think", Asrial said? As she twirled around in the school dress. "Bet I could get Jeremy", Asrial joked.  
  
Thirty minutes later....  
  
"Welcome to the Sakura (sp) Inn the only traditional Japanese restaurant in Quagmire", Itchi said as she entered the restaurant.  
  
"How quaint", Asrial said.  
  
"Hello", Itchi said once she was in the restaurant.  
  
"Hey, Itchi, How nice to see you again! And you brought a friend", a large man in an apron greeted from behind the counter.  
  
"Asrial, This is Yamasan! Jeremy's mom brought me here last week", Itchi said.  
  
"That's right! Known her for ten years! I might have even married her at one him", Yamasan said.  
  
In another part of the room......  
  
"Damn her, I came here to forget about her", Lendo though to himself. "Just look at her.... Yeah... Look at her", Lendo thought to himself as he marveled at her beauty. (She could have been min if not for that gaijin Jeremy Feeple! He ruined everything.) Lendo then allows himself to enter a short daydream where he defeats the evil Feeple. He's about to recieve a kiss for his valiant efforts in dream, when a door slamming brings Lendo back to reality.  
A young teenager enters the restaurant and sits down at the counter. The stranger is wearing a Sakura Inn apron. "It sure is hot today", he said. "I'm going to take a ten minute break.  
  
"Sammi! What do you think your doing", Yamasama yelled at the boy.  
  
"I'm tired", Sammi replied.  
  
"Why are you so tired? We have more deliveries! You lazy boy", Yamasama continued to rant.  
"Look! I'm the only delivery boy here and ever since R.N.C. moved here it's like this town had a Japanese population explosion overnight", Sammi yelled back at his Uncle.  
Itchi take the opportunity to whisper something to Yamasama. "It's in the back", Sammi's uncle replies.  
  
"Arigato", Itchi says as she walks to the back of the restaurant. She trips on a piece of suishi . Both Sammi and Lendo immediately dive to catch Itchi.  
Sammi manages to catch Itchi inches from the floor. Lendo runs into Sammi's foot nose first in his failed attempt to catch Itchi.  
  
"Are you alright", Sammi asks. Flowers and hearts surrounding the boy only to Itchi.  
  
"Th- Thank you Sammi...", Itchi finally manages to stutter as she stare at Sammi.   
  
A few second later after Itchi has left the room...  
  
"Say... They make a good looking couple. Don't they", Sammi's Uncle says to Asrial.  
  
"I suppose", Asrial replies as she works on her suishi.  
  
"Maybe I can convince my nephew to ask her out", Yamasama says.  
  
"Your nephew", Asrial asks?  
  
"Didn't I mention Sammi is my nephew. Asrial, Perhaps you can help. Sammi has been in Quagmire for only a short while. I think if he went out with a Japanese girl in the same situateion, he might adjust earlier."  
  
"Okay, I'll talk to her", Asrial says.  
  
And so (several minutes later in the restroom)...  
  
"Gee, I dunno Asrial. He's strong and graceful and handsome, but he seems awful young. And what about Jeremy", Itchi says more to herself than Asrial.  
"Yeah, What about him? I recall something about marrying him to run a ninja clan", Asrial says with a calculating look. "Isn't it true you also planned to divorce him", Asrial continued pointing to an issue of Ninja High School #1.  
  
"That's different! That's before I got to know him", Itchi replied angrily.  
  
"Okay, Look at it this way... You'll make Yamasan feel more secure about his nephew's social life. Think of it as a favor", Asrial said.  
  
"Well... If you put it that way...", Itchi said.  
  
Outside in the restaurant.....  
  
"Here they come! Now do what I told you. Otherwise, you'll never get a food wife", Yamasama said quietly to his nephew.  
  
"I'll do it, but I don't wan't to", Sammi muttered back at his uncle.  
  
"Uh, Itchi, how about a date tonight", Sammi asked in a monotone voice.  
  
"Okay", Itchi replied.  
  
"What", Lendo said to himself as he overheard Itchi and Sammi.  
  
"So, I'll pick you up at six", Sammi continued.  
  
"Great", Itchi replied with a smile.  
  
(I don't believe it! First she spurns my love for some gaijin, and now she waits until he leaves the country to go behind his back to date some low class boy!!) Lendo jumped up and yelled, "Well, I'll teach her not to treat men's feelings so lightly!! A lesson she'll not soon forget! I'll kill Sammi.  
  
"Hey you! Be quiet! If your going to threathen someone, go outside and do it", Yamasama yelled at Kuno. Kuno's response was a massive facefault.  
  
Later that evening....  
  
We see Itchi finish getting dressed for her date. "Perfect", she said to herself. "But It's simple for a ninja such as myself", she said with a grin. The doorbell rang suddenly.   
"Itchi, you date's here", Ms. Feeple said as she opened the door. Ms. Feeple and Sammi stood in the doorway for a second staring at each other. Finally Ms. Feeple says, "Sammi, your Itch's date"?  
  
"It wasn't my idea", Sammi replied. "Please don't tell her!"  
  
"Hi, Sammi", a shy voice said. Sammi turned and saw Itchi descending the stairs.  
  
"Hi, Itchi", Sammi managed to stutter.  
  
"Well this should be.. and.. interesting date", Ms. Feeple managed to said without breaking into laughter. Sammi didn't bother replying as he muttered to himself.  
  
The couple walk to a small pickup truck. Sammi quickly opened the door for Itchi. "Is this your truck", Itchi asked?  
  
"No, it's my Uncle's", Sammi replies. "I don't even have a lisence yet."  
  
"Well you better drive carefully", Itchi replied with a smile.  
  
"I always do", Sammi replied as he seated himself behind the truck's stearing wheel.  
  
Nearby....  
"I made the mistake to messing around with Feeple. This time no reasoning, no deals... It will be straight death and destruction! Glory to R.N.C.", Lendo said as he broke into insane laughter Author's note: The type of laughter that scares even Kuno.  
  
A small pickup truck passed a parked van with an R.N.C. license plate. "Did you here some insane laughter just then", Itchi asks Sammi?  
  
"Nah..", Sammi says.  
  
Thirty minutes later at an amusement park....  
  
Sammi and Itchi had just finish purchasing some cotton candy. Sammi glances back at the salesman. "Say wasn't that cotton candy saleman, kinda weird", Sammi asks?  
  
"Were surrounded by ninja's"Itchi replies calmly. "Look carefully."   
  
"What.." Sammi began, "Now I see them". Suddenly three ninja land close to the couple.  
"Tremble in fear", the first ninja said. "We are ninja master's and our hands are deadly weapons", the second ninja said. The third ninja said, "Prepare to die for your insolence, boy!"  
"Who the hell", Sammi asks? Before he gets a reply the ninja's attack. In short work Sammi is the last one standing. Breathing a little bit heavy, he turns to Itchi. "Let's call it a night Itchi, our evenings ruined", Sammi says.  
  
"Not so fast", a voice with a German accent replies. Sammi turns and is greated with the sight of a man and a woman. This is unusual in the fact the woman is wearing an outfit, that resembles a German military uniform. The man is a gaint muscular figure wearing a dark leather jacket and black sunglasses.  
  
"Who are you two clowns", Sammi yelled at the two new figures!  
  
"Clowns to you, weapons of destruction to most. I am Bruhildia (sp) and my associate is the Kenterminator."  
  
"We be back", the taller figure replied.  
  
"We've both come to teach Itchi Koo a lesson in giving a little respect towards Lendo", Bunhilhia said.  
  
"Lendo! I might have known", Itchi replied!.  
  
"Who's he", Sammi replied.  
  
"It's too late now! Itchi will pay for spurning his love", Brunhildia yells.  
  
Kenterminator throws a left arm punch at Sammi. Sammi catches the blow Aithor's note: This is the guy, who put Asrial through a wall! . He then reverse his force on the Kenterminators arm Aka: He pulls. "Riipp!!"  
  
Kenterminator looks on in disbelief as Sammi rips his left arm off. "Hmmm. Better go and get this fixed", Kenterminator says to himslef as he looks at his shoulder.  
"Well, I need a tune-up anyways", he though glumly.  
  
Sammi take a minute to catch his breath, ignoring the cyborg.  
  
"Well, Hell! We come all this way and get yelled at by Lendo and this kid tears your arm off", Brunhildia yells at the cyborg. "Some return appearance!"  
  
"Sorry Hildy", the cyborg mutters.  
  
"And after I got a new outfit and all", the German woman contiunes.  
  
"Can we go now", Itchi asks Sammi?  
  
"Sure, but let's stop by the shop for a soda. I'm thirsty", Sammi replies.  
  
Elsewhere....  
  
"Kuso", a voice yells! We see Lendo sitting before a television monitor. "Just shows that you can't send a cyborg to do a man's job. Pshaw! No matter! I should have handled it personally myself to begin with. Driver take me to the Sakura Inn, quickly! Soon, very soon I will show Itchi the folly of her ways", Lendo said to himself.  
  
"So tell me. Itchi...", Sammi began. "Who's this Lendo guy?"  
  
"Well... Lendo was to be my spouse but something came up... and well, he never forgave me", Itchi said glumly.  
  
"Well, I don't blame him", Sammi replied taking a swig out of a coke.  
  
"Really?" Itchi asked with sudden interest.  
  
"Uh, huh. You're pretty good looking", Sammi says as, he polishes off his coke can."That was good", he said putting down the coke. He misses the strange look Itchi giving him.  
  
"Ready to go home", Sammi asks?  
  
"Yes... I guess so", Itchi rpelies.  
  
"NOT SO FAST", a voice yells. "So Itchi Koo! You've finally gone to far! You've shamed me long enough", Lendo says as he draws a katana from it's sheath.  
"Lendo! You finally decieded to show yourself, eh?" Itchi said as she took a combat stance.  
  
"He's Lendo", Sammi asks as he points at Lendo.  
  
"Yes", Itchi replies.  
  
"Fool! Learn the folly of stealing Lendo's true Love!" He then leaped as Sammi swinging his katana in an overhead arc.  
"Ahh, Shaddup", Sammi replied. As he uses his only available weapon, the cyborg's arm. He stops Kuno's attack using the arm as a staff connecting with Lendo's face.  
  
"Heh. Very clever. But it will not save you", Lendo says.  
  
"Why exactly do you want to kil me anyways", Sammi asks in puzzlement.  
  
"Hmm... Well... Because you stole my true love's heart! You denied me the happiness that being with Itchi would bring", Lendo replied as he moved into a sword stance.  
"Is that all this fuss is about", Sammi said cheerfully. "If it's Itchi, you can have her", he finished. Neither man notices Itchi act as if slapped by the statement or the tear, that leaves her eye.  
"Too Late!! Someone's already used that ploy, and it didn't work for him, either", Lendo yells in a dramatic fashion Author's note: The type of dramatic speech in anime, that has the background fly past even though the hero (or villian) never moves.   
"All right you numb skull! No sense in reasoning with you let's fight", Sammi replied also with blured background.  
"There is only one way to settle this with honor", Lendo says as he walks across the moonlite grain field toward Yes, I know they were in a restaurant but, it to make it dramatic.   
  
Sammi replies, "Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. Let's get this overwith!" He says as he walks toward Lendo with the arm for a weapon.  
  
Both figure leap at each other. Sammi desperatly attempts to block with the cyborg's arm. He watchs in horror as the ancient samurai blade cut through the arm and towards his chest.  
Lendo lands on one knee Cool finish to sword attack: #03 and says, "It is done!" Lendo stand up and faces Sammi. His smug expression turns to one of horror.  
"Wha. Wha.. Wha.... What are those.....", Lendo yelled in panick.  
  
"Huh", Sammi replies! "What do you mean? What are you looking at?!!"  
  
"That", Lendo yells as he points at Sammi. In the glare of the restaurant's harsh light a woman's breast is visible hanging from Sammi's shirt.  
"Augh", Sammi screams as she covers her chest. She turns her back on the startled Itchi and Lendo. "Oh, No! I didn't want anyone to know", Sammi yells as she curls up into a ball.  
  
"Sammi..is...is A GIRL", Itchi comprend in shock.  
  
"I guess there's no use hiding it anymore. I might as well tell the whole story. My Uncle was never told that I was a girl. You see for almost all of the nine months my mother was carrying me my father boasted to all his friends that he yould have a powerful son. Until I was born. Then he became ashamed of his boasting. But rather than admit it and be embarrassed in front of friends and family, he decided to raise me as a boy, instead. At first it seemed fun, but when... I started to develop... I was sent here", she said as she finishes rebinding her breast. "I'm sorry for deceiving you, Itchi. I meant to tell sooner or later."  
  
"Oh, That's all right. I understand", Itchi say in a quiet tone.  
  
"It's true. I should have noticed it before", Lendo says to himself. "Sammi, after hearing you story, I am deeply touched! I apologize for wanting to kill you earlier", he says as he executes a bow.  
  
"That's okay", Sammi says as she puts on another shirt.  
  
"You poor girl! I am truly sorry, truly! It must be very hard for you", Lendo says as he qently squeezes Sammi's shoulder.  
"WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?!!" Yamasama comes from the back of the restaurant brandishing a cleaver.  
"Wait, this is explainable", Lendo yells as he runs from the restaurant with an angry chief in close pursuit.  
  
At the restaurant's bar Itchi turns to Sammi. "Does this happen often?"  
  
"It might..", Sammi replies as she starts on another coke.  
End Epidodes 06:  
  
  
Episode 07: Three Boys and a Doggie  
Authors note: Dear reader I'm going to skip this Episode. This episode skips Jeremy, it does have one short scene with Asrial and Itchi. Anyway this Episode consist mainly of anime cameo's, parodies, etc (Robotech to Power Rangers to Voltron to Snoopy). This is a very funny manga issue, that's a great read. Even if you haven't read this series before find this issue.  
End Episode 07:  



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